the post in which i exploit los angeles stereotypes in order to reinforce Becky's decision to not move to LA

Gigantic, disgusting, wasteful, unnecessary, gaudy, gilded mansions. Everywhere! Neighborhoods full of them!

Gangs! Around every corner!

Drugs! Around every corner!

TERRIBLE TRAFFIC.

Everyone gets plastic surgery! EVERYONE! :'(

This is us.

I need a direction, a destination, and an adventure

Wanderlust

by Becky "Human Map" Baumann

We are on the precipice

of a panic attack searching for an escape

from the stress and anxiety that has relentlessly assaulted

our nervous systems for the last twenty-two years.

It is only 1,646 miles to Montana.

We will forsake the GPS device in favor

of the decades old atlas that has lived undisturbed

under the passenger’s seat of the station wagon I used to loathe.

And when we embark we will listen repeatedly to my Nico CD because

her voice sounds as disoriented as we feel.

And we will drive North to Wisconsin, which will look

just like the corn-covered central Illinois we are running away from,

but we will not be disappointed because we will see it

through the exhilarated eyes of explorers. And we will venture straight

West through the land of 10,000 lakes, steering clear

of the obvious shortcut through North Dakota because you understand

my fear of falling face-first into a Fargo wood-chipper.

And we will drive towards the bison and bare beauty of the black hills, but

we will ignore the overrated, underwhelming

tourist trap that is our beloved Mt. Rushmore.

And we will climb to the tops of the glacier-glossed mountains

of Montana and discover that we have not nearly reached

our destination.

It will be an adventure—and we know all about adventure

because we have read Hemingway and London and Kerouac

and we will be delighted when we realize

we are leaving confusion and nonsense behind

on the road of self-discovery, which winds its way

through the Americana we had previously tried to avoid

—and we will decidedly overlook the cliché of it all.

"Baby went to Amsterdam..."

"Amsterdam" by Peter, Bjorn, & John

"Baby went to Amsterdam, she put a little money into traveling, now it's so slow, so slow. Baby went to Amsterdam, 4-5 days by the big canal, now it's so slow, so slow. And I was heading up north to a place that I know, eating well, sleeping well. But still I was way, way out of line: Amsterdam was stuck in my mind. Oh, it's some kind of stupid rule that you can't ignore. Oh, it's some kind of natural fact, sometimes you're just left to be alone..."

I want to go on a biking tour of Amsterdam:

and visit The Secret Annex (where Anne Frank and her family hid during WWII):

...and bike through fields of windmills and tulips...

...and visit he Van Gogh Museum to see tons of originals up close.

We need to go somewhere. Anywhere.

But where will we go? And how will we get there?

S'wonderful, S'marvelous

Je veux aller là-bas

Château de la reine blanche, Coye-la-Forêt, Oise, France

When we go to Morocco, I think we should have completely different names and be completely different people

    What in heaven's name brought you to Casablanca? 

Rick's Cafe Americain

Real Rick's Cafe

Real Rick's Cafe

 I will only ride a camel again if I can do it here:

Agadir on the Atlantic

 "There are lots of reasons to go to Marrakech and studying is not one of them, sweetie"

Marrakech market 

Kasbah in Marrakech